Tuesday 24 December 2013

Reflecting back on 2013 - Depend on INDEPENDENCE!



NAMASTE! To my diverse bunch of readers from the first post on my blog and to all you newbies visiting my website for the first time. I want to start off firstly by thanking you all for devoting some of your precious time to reading the mundane things I put together here as a 'noob' writer. All you counter-strike lovers out there shall know what I am referring to. Just so you know, it really means a lot for writers to see their viewers increase every time they visit their blog.

Now I know its been a while since you guys have heard from me and so to those few of you (just my close friends I'm sure) who were expecting me to write up much sooner, I apologize! I have been pretty busy with studies and teaching but here I am again, starting to gather my thoughts which have been piling up over the last few months and wanting to come out there in the open.

On that note, as the year comes to an end,I want to share an invaluable virtue that 2013 has taught me... INDEPENDENCE - the key to freedom, the pedestal towards one's journey of success. Why do I say that you ask? The reason being if you carefully observe your attitude towards life and your thought process when you're all by yourself, it differs significantly from the one you are likely to develop while staying with your parents or a guardian, the one that is much less likely to take you towards your goal.

For starters, the very first thing that happens when we are just by ourselves is that for the first time in our lives, we dare to think independently and make a first hand choice without it being influenced by anyone's opinions. I feel that moment when you would not have someone telling you whether your choice is good or bad for you is something that everyone deserves to experience. It doesn't matter if its a wise or an unwise decision. All that matters is that its YOURS! And this is something that we should embrace because choosing to make a decision is equivalent to acknowledging the fact that we are conscious of where we are at present and where we want to be in the future. And what I have come to realize in barely 4 months since I moved out of my parents' is that unless you get out there on your own, your decisions are more likely to be safe and not truly first hand



Having said that, I want to specifically dedicate this post to my fellow Indian youth who are tired of being told what to do and are wanting to move out, make a living, become independent and chase their dreams. I'm not saying its going to be easy but its totally worth the effort. Take that from me! Now the reason I am pointing us Indian youngsters out is firstly because I know for a fact that not many of us back in India get a chance to move out while we are still studying due to financial, security and a bunch of other reasons and secondly there are very few part time employment opportunities available. But again, 'Dhoondne se toh Bhagwaan bhi mil jaate hain!' Right? 






So if your wondering as to why I am writing about moving out of all the things, here goes. 



In the last five months that I have spent in the United States, there's this one thing I have been repeatedly noticing - the pride that Americans take in being independent and self-sufficient. Its considered a shame if your'e an adult (18 and above) and haven't moved out of your parents'. Of course, there are always some exceptions. But we are not here to talk about them. So unlike many of us students back in India, they feel this need to be able to get a job and make a living as soon as they are 18. To be honest, I personally never even thought of working and moving out when I turned 18. In fact I didn't even know what the hell I wanted to do then. And this is what makes it much more astonishing to me. Now we may very well blame the Indian culture for this and say that Americans are brought up that way and we aren't. TRUE! But don't you think its time to tweak the culture a bit if it's for our own good?


Allow me to share an overwhelming experience with you all. So I met this girl in our university bar one evening while I was enjoying a tennis match over a beer and we got talking. She was doing her Bachelor's degree in the arts and was passionate about making jewelry. I was blown away when she mentioned her weekly schedule to me. Apart from taking classes towards her degree, she was working at 2 different places every alternate night that paid for her tuition and living expenses. Initially, I figured her family must not be in good financial standing to support her studies. It turns out I was wrong. Her parents were perfectly capable, rather more than just capable of funding her studies. But she didn't want them to pay for it. It took me a while to digest that thought. As a teenager, I never had the balls to even think about paying for my own education. And this girl sitting right next to me was nailing it. Wow! Now that's what I call ambitious! No kidding but I felt worthless for a minute. And this incident is the sheer inspiration behind writing this post.

Within a few months of teaching, I realized how many of my own students worked part time on or off campus to pay for their tuition. How often do we see this happening in India? Quite rare right, in spite of the tuition being much more affordable as compared to universities in the US. You might say that working takes one's focus off of studies, allures one towards money, in turn affecting one's grades. Your'e right! It does! But if you think about it, earning and making a living in itself teaches you a lot more than what you might possibly learn in class. It teaches you real life values through habit and experience. Something that needs to be inculcated by an individual and hence cannot be taught. 





Learning to take care of ourselves right from being entirely responsible for our housing, doing our dishes, laundry, cooking, managing our expenses, balancing our social and professional lives and most of all studying with all of these responsibilities in the background, instills a sense of discipline and consciousness in us which I feel is a lot more learnt than that in class. And today as I write this post, I regret not having done that much earlier in my life. Rather, I feel bad for not having someone encourage me to move out and stand on my feet.


Its totally understandable how difficult it is for parents or even a guardian for that matter to voluntarily leave their children out in the blue on their own. It puts them in a bad light. Therefore, the influence is always better off coming from an external source. And this is precisely the reason I am putting it down in writing today. To support and encourage all you teenagers out there who want to step out, follow their wishes and make a difference but are afraid to do so or are having double thoughts about it. Go for it! I got your back! Trust me, you will be surprised and at peace to have discovered your real self




To be honest, I personally think being employed part time helps me focus more on my research since it periodically takes my mind off of it and believe it or not, this improves my creativity. Focusing on one particular problem for a long time keeps you from getting new ideas or new approaches towards solving it. Even when I write, every time I come back to my draft, I have additions to make owing to the new thoughts surfacing in my mind as I read my old script.
Thus it is always recommended to have a hobby. Something that takes your mind off of your work and refreshes you. Now all I'm saying is, what bad is it if this hobby makes you some spare money that can pay for your daily expenses? So this right here is one hint on how to go about searching for part time opportunities. Seek something that you would enjoy doing for a limited time in a week and if you can't find anything close to what you would like doing, you may very well settle for something which you won't absolutely hate doing. After all, you just got to do it till you finish your studies. Right?


I agree moving out of your parent's for the first time is not easy. It seems overwhelming. But you got to take that 'Leap of Faith' if you want to experience the power of freedom. Now if you manage to pull this off, just imagine how proud your parents would be to see you standing on your feet at such a young age. Make that thought your motivation. Afraid that you might fail? Think about it this way. Even if you do, they would still be proud of you for having given it a shot and would always be there to support you. I know that for a fact and you do too. You see, you at least have that option of moving back home. Think about the one's who don't. The one's who ought to live by themselves without a choice. That shall drive the fear of failure out of you. 




At this point, I don't want to bug you guys to death and feel like I have stressed enough upon moving out to have given you a fair idea of how you can depend on independence to guide you towards your goal, which was the whole point of writing this post.  We as creative beings, have every right to be our own heroes by making our choices irrespective of other's opinions about them. And lastly, to those of you who feel family always comes first and it only makes sense to stay together, I never meant to hurt your feelings. I respect your point of view and wish you equally well. Again remember, 'Nothing in this universe is meant to be a particular way. It can always be the other way round.

That being said,  
I hope you guys enjoyed reading this post as much as I did writing it. Though it took me a while to complete, it was worth the time! 

Feel free to share your thoughts, questions or suggestions if any because you know I would be glad to read your responses. 

Merry Christmas and have a rocking New Year's Eve! 



Till next time...